Shuffling between your spouse and an aging parent can be a bit tricky and real hard.
Maintaining that balance between being there for your husband and being a primary caregiver to your aging mother can spell a streak of guilt.
Playing a daughter and a wife at the same time coupled with taking care of your children is a trajectory no one would want to ride on. However, when life tosses you to that end, you need to step up your game and play your role.
While putting on your new role, it is very crucial to maintain a strict balance between caring for your husband and your mother especially in cases where you live far apart from the care receiver.
In a bid to satisfy both ends, often guilt takes a better part of you when you feel you are falling short on one part of the “deal.”
Here are some tips to help you navigate that path and safeguard your marriage
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
No matter what you do, you can’t be superhuman and be at two places at the same time. So don’t be so hard on yourself for not being able to meet a particular need while attending to the other. The people you are caring for will understand the hussle you go through and will forgive you for missing a schedule. Don’t stress yourself too much…. Shun the guilt and encourage yourself that you can’t do it all but you can do your best.
Effective communication is key
It is very important to talk openly and fairly to your spouse and your aging parent about the role you play in their lives and the struggles you face in executing your responsibilities. Touching on issues that requires compromises and sacrifices would help both parties understand you better when you miss a schedule or an appointment.
Never shy away from help from family and friends. Asking for help will go a long way to preserve your marriage as it will allow you some days, weeks or even months of quality time with your spouse and children. Additionally, scheduling appointments with care agencies once in a while can afford you the opportunity to share your partner’s company and to open discussions crucial to you two.
Who should you prioritize? Spouse or parent?
One brought you into the world, you are committed to the other for the rest of your life.
Hmmmm! this can hold you up in a dilemma but here’s it, as important as the health and general well-being of your mother or parent may be, it should never be at the expense of your spouse whom you have vowed to make happy and spend the rest of your life with. Your parents have enjoyed their lives and are moving through a phase in life and so never feel guilty for short-changing your parents’ upkeep once in a while to satisfy your spouse.
Remember maintaining a great relationship with your spouse will enable you both to take good care of your aging parent.